Friday, 7 December 2012

The eye of the beholder

Over the past several months I've noticed that my eyesight has been fading.  About five years ago an eye specialist advised that I had the beginnings of cataracts, but no action was required at the time.  I was not endeared to this particular specialist.  He had been a national sporting hero in his time, but any admiration on my part was quickly dispelled when he kept addressing me as "Old Girl".  Considering that he was only about a year or two behind me, how tempted was I to respond with "Old Boy", but he was holding a pointy instrument near my eyeball so discretion ruled.  However, he is not on my Christmas card list.

When I found it difficult to read the coloured print in magazines, I knew it was time to find a specialist here in Sydney.  After the appointment was made ("You do have cataracts don't you?  Doctor only sees cataract patients."), knowing that it would be many months before anything could be done for my eyes, I bought a pair of those cheap reading glasses from the local pharmacy. I put them on and WHOA!! The whole world turned instantly into a Technicolor movie.  What happened to my fading eyesight?  I asked Mr Fudge to look through my old glasses and he immediately became a candidate for a cataract procedure.  It was then that we discovered the problem.  The protective coating on the lenses was crazed, giving the effect of looking through a gauze curtain.

Noooooo ... the appointment with the specialist was rushing towards me and I could envisage the medical humiliation that would produce. Remember - he only sees cataract patients.  Oo-er.  Panic.  So I did what any honest person would do.  I rang his receptionist and explained that I had been called away unexpectedly and would probably not return for quite some time.  Then we Fudges drove to the nearest shopping centre and had our eyes tested at the optometrist with all those latest whizz-bang testing machines that do everything except your ironing.  It was explained that the protective coating on the lenses was only guaranteed for two years and that five years (shame, guilt) was perhaps asking a little much of it.  In the end we both came out with flying colours and my new glasses, which are only slightly stronger than my old ones, will be ready next week.  Oh, and I emphatically do not have cataracts.

Still, I'm holding onto those old faithful glasses, in fear that my colour sense may in fact only be accessed through those crazed lenses.

No wonder I thought I was going blind.  These garlands have been so popular that I have had call it a day with them for this Christmas.  To date I have sewn 370 individual trees and each garland of 10 is constructed with 20 different fabrics.

I now have only 2 dresses and 9 garlands on back order to make - 90 more trees and then it will be time to close the Etsy and MadeIt shops for Christmas and float away on a vat of wine.  With my old glasses firmly clutched in my hand.


kuber... said...

That is hilarious! I am so glad that you don't have cataracts after all!
Good luck with your remaining tree-sewing and keep that vat of wine foremost in mind!

Pennie said...

I have almost the same story, I had a follow up appointment with the Dr who had told me I had cataracts two years before. On the day of the appointment the Receptionist rang to ask if I could come in a couple of hours later which I did.
When I got there I saw the Chief Eye Doc who checked my eyes and said there was nothing wrong with them, and the Chemist glasses I were using for sewing were fine.
I asked what had happened to the Dr I'd seen two years ago.
That morning my appointed Dr had gone to Bakers Delight, St Ives for a loaf of bread and dropped dead of a sudden heart attack!
I'm still using Chemist glasses :-)

Hot Fudge said...

Goodness Pennie - what an eerie coincidence. Should I warn my eye doctor in Brisbane to keep away from bread shops?

Ali said...

Phew! great news about your eyes! And great news about your garlands and dresses too! Merry Christmas Robyn :)

Chrisy said...

Yay for a competent optomitrist and yay for no cataracts! And darling I'm gobsmacked re the number of trees you've've certainly done your part in spreading the Christmas cheer! Next year, higher prices!

Chrisy said...

Have just read Pennie's story! Oh my that's some tale!